117. Fix Your Face

In episode 117 of the Curate Your Life podcast, Temetria—a single midlife woman focused on creating a bold, purposeful life—shares a reminder to “fix your face,” meaning to pay attention to the mindset and thoughts that show up in your expression. After noticing widespread scowling on a vacation in Italy, she encourages people to tune into their thoughts and how they affect their feelings (ultimately showing up on their faces) and how they can begin to shift those thoughts. Temetria challenges listeners to stop letting small inconveniences dictate their day and to avoid delaying happiness until life is “together,” while also rejecting toxic positivity and honoring real emotions. She suggests reframing situations by asking how you want to feel, and offers a seven-day practice of noticing frustration and choosing thoughts that create more joy.

00:00 Podcast Welcome
00:36 Fix Your Face Mindset
01:15 Smiling On Purpose
02:46 Italy Vacation Observations
03:42 Agency Over Emotions
05:04 Stop Delaying Happiness
06:24 Seven Day Joy Challenge
06:55 Connect And Work Together
07:38 Closing Goodbye

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Transcript

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0:02

Welcome to the Curate Your Life podcast with Temetria, episode 117.

Temetria 0:09

Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife. But not quite ready for the Moomoo life. I'm focused on curating a life that I love. A life that is bold and vibrant and full of purpose. And I'm passionate about helping other women do the same. So join me. If you're ready to create curate a big, bold, beautiful life that you love.

0:36

This is a friendly reminder to fix your face, but it has nothing to do with how you look. It really doesn't have much to do with your face at all. It has everything to do with your mindset and the thoughts running through your mind that spill out onto your face, your poor face. Anyway, I was just on vacation in Italy, and I can't tell you the number and extent of frowns and scowls and mean-mugging that I witnessed, and mean-mugging is making an angry face at someone on purpose. Listen, I smile at everyone. I really do. If I smiled at the son of a bitch before I could help myself was a person, it would be me. I don't know why. I just do it. It costs me nothing. It has more to do with me and how I want to feel in my life than with the other person. Anyway, that's who I wanna be in the world. And I often think about Toni Morrison's interview with Oprah, where she talked about how she made a point to show joy and enthusiasm when her son walked into the room because she believed that that shaped who he was as a person, as opposed to going straight into nitpicking and criticizing. And she talked about how important it was for children to see that love and acceptance in their parents' faces, and not just hear the criticism from their parents. And even though I think I was instinctively smiling at people before that, I really do love people in all their glory. They make life so interesting. I think that made me realize how easy it is to make a difference in someone's day, and it makes a difference in my life, too. And I think that all people need that, not just children. Who doesn't want to feel like someone is excited to see them just because? So the next time you're out and about, smile at somebody just because. Anyway, such a, an aside, but back to Italy. I was surprised by how many people who were on a cruise, presumably on vacation, seemed to be so miserable. And I thought about how often are we showing up miserable in our life, letting slow service at a restaurant ruin your night, complaining about a minor flight delay. What if you decided that you were going to enjoy your life today, whatever came your way? Not change everything, not fix everything, not figure out your entire life and then enjoy it. Just enjoy it today. And I'm not suggesting that you walk around with a fake smile plastered on your face while you're secretly falling apart. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about being intentional about what you're thinking, what you're focusing on, and ultimately how you want to feel. I'm not pushing toxic positivity. If you're sad, be sad. If you're angry, feel angry. If you're disappointed, be disappointed. Feelings and emotions are part of life, but know that you have agency when it comes to those feelings. Ask yourself, "Do I want to keep thinking the thoughts that are creating those feelings?" And a common example that I use is when someone cuts you off in traffic, and you cuss them the whole way to work, and you think everyone on the road is an idiot. And then you get to work, and you complain to your coworkers for 15 minutes about your miserable commute and all the idiots on the road. Think about how you're feeling then. When instead, you can decide that you don't know what was really going on with that person, and you don't know. Perhaps they had a real emergency, and it was not a personal offense to you at all. You just happened to be in that same place with them. They just happened to be driving the way that they were driving. Then how would you feel about it? It would probably take the heat down on how you were feeling about it. Now I want you to think about how you feel about your life most days. Are you putting off happiness until? Until the kids are okay. Until work settles down, you lose weight, you meet someone, you have more money. What if you challenge and reframe how you show up in your daily life? What if happiness isn't the reward at the end of getting your life together or at the end of something happening, of X happening? What if your joy is not dependent on the circumstances of your life? Your boss can still be annoying. Your house can still be messy. Your body might not be where you want it to be. Your relationship might be complicated. Your future may be uncertain. But you don't have to make feeling bad about those circumstances a requirement. That's the mindset shift, and a simple question can help you get there. How do I want to feel about this circumstance or event right now? So fix your face, not because your face is the problem, but because your face might be giving you a little clue about what's happening in your mind. So for the next seven days, try this. Notice how often you're choosing frustration, irritation, annoyance, or disappointment, and ask yourself, "Is this how I want to experience this moment?" And if the answer is no, what would I have to think to feel a little bit more joy right now? That's what I have for you this week. That's what I want you to consider. If you want to chat about it, if you wanna give me pushback, if you have questions, come over to Coach Temetria on Instagram and you can ask me questions there. If you want to continue the conversation with like-minded women who are creating lives they love, join us in the Curate Your Life Facebook group. Or if you're ready for the tools that will help you build a life you don't feel the need to escape from, schedule a consultation to discover how coaching can benefit you. You can find the links in the show notes. Until next time