113. CYL Process - Deep Dive Pt 3

Curate Your Life, Step 3: Add and Enhance What Supports Your Vision

In episode 113 of the Curate Your Life podcast, Temetria continues her deep dive into the Curate Your Life process by explaining step three: adding or enhancing what’s needed to create your detailed vision after clarifying the vision (step one) and eliminating what doesn’t fit (step two). Using a wardrobe example, she encourages listeners not to settle for “perfectly fine” items that don’t match the feeling of their vision. 

She extends this approach to people, advising spending more time with those who uplift and inspire and distancing from those who don’t. She also highlights choosing daily experiences and “stuff” based on how they make you feel, revisiting the vision regularly, and improving life gradually rather than doing a complete overhaul, and invites listeners to connect on Instagram or schedule a 15-minute call.

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00:00 Welcome to Curate Your Life
00:36 Step Three Explained
02:20 Wardrobe Vision Example
03:59 Trust the Process
05:03 Curating Your People
07:12 Experiences That Elevate
09:19 Stuff That Sets the Vibe
10:54 Revisit and Refine
12:42 Progress Not Overhaul
13:22 Connect and Next Steps

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Note: In older episodes, I mention other offers; they have evolved and changed over time, and the Two Simple Steps to Love Your Life is the perfect place to begin. If you have questions, please email info@coachtemetria.com 

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Transcript

0:00

You're listening to the Curate Your Life podcast with Temetria, episode 113.

Temetria 0:07

Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife. But not quite ready for the Moomoo life. I'm focused on curating a life that I love. A life that is bold and vibrant and full of purpose. And I'm passionate about helping other women do the same. So join me. If you're ready to create curate a big, bold, beautiful life that you love.

0:34

Welcome back to the podcast. This episode is part three of our deep dive into the Curate Your Life process, and if you haven't listened to the first two parts of the series, I really encourage you to go back and do so, so you have an understanding of the process and the steps in order, because I'm just gonna dive right in here. So we've covered step one, the vision, and step two, subtracting or eliminating what doesn't fit that vision. So you probably have an idea of what comes next. Step three is adding or enhancing what is needed to create that vision. So you have created this detailed vision of your dream life, So detailed that you can actually close your eyes and feel that you are in it, that you're living it. But when you open your eyes and you look around, your current reality doesn't fit that picture. You know what needs to be eliminated or what needs to go or what you need to stop doing based on the work that you did in step two, but there are holes in the vision or things missing from the picture. Step three is about building that vision piece by piece, bringing into your life the people, the things, the experiences that are going to create that vision. And this is not get out your credit card and redo your living room. This is about molding and shaping your life. Like I said before, this is a process. So let's say part of that vision is changing your image. You wanna build a wardrobe that fits your style and personality and life, the style, personality, and life that you have created in this vision that you really feel in your bones. And you've done the first two steps. You have a clear picture of what that wardrobe looks like, how you feel in that wardrobe, comfortable and confident as you go through your life, and you know what needs to go from your closet, what is not going to fit into that new picture of yourself, what's not gonna be part of that new wardrobe. And you are beginning to acquire the pieces that are gonna shape the collection that you're building. And you're out shopping, and there's a mannequin with an outfit that is almost spot on. The pants and the blouse are great, but the jacket or the top or the sweater is not quite what... Not really speaking to you. It's not quite what you want. But it works with the other pieces because obviously the stylist who dressed that mannequin thought it works. And it might be that it would be perfectly fine if you got it, but you're not doing perfectly fine anymore. You're curating. You are being true to your vision and what you want. You don't need just another jacket or whatever it is that's fine. You need something that completes that feeling that you evoked with your vision. So part of what you'll need to do as you're going through this is to trust the process. Because what if you buy that jacket and a week or a month later you're out and you see the one, but you've already spent the money and the jacket's taking up space in your closet? There's not gonna be room for that one that was perfect, that really speaks to you, that really completes your vision because you settled for the perfectly fine. So as you go through, be okay with this being a process because you're building something special. And I'm not just talking about a wardrobe that we're using for this example, I'm talking about your life. And I use the wardrobe because that's an easy example, but I want you to think about your whole life. As you're curating, you are bringing in things, having the experiences, gathering the people that will enhance or create your vision. And I wanna stop on that one for a few minutes. I wanna talk about the people. So when we're talking about the people, I talked about in step two, if there are people in your life that don't fit that vision, that are not enhancing that vision, that you need to spend less time with them or cut them out of your lives. And that might sound harsh, but If they're not part of what is bringing you joy, what is lifting you up of who you want to be, then you don't have to spend time with them. You don't have to spend as much time with them. You can distance yourself. You don't have to give yourself to them emotionally. You don't have to let them in, into your mental space, and maybe not even into your physical space. So when you're thinking about this step, step three, enhancing your life or bringing in the things that are going to enhance that vision and we're thinking about people, think about spending more time with the people who lift you up, who make you a better person, who bring the same energy that you're bringing, who are doing the things that you wanna be doing, who inspire you. Maybe you need to go out and meet some new people, some people who are in the field that you wanna be in, or some people who enjoy doing the things that you want to do. And I'm not just talking about going out and, like, meeting a rich friend who has a plane who can drive you someplace. I'm talking about people who lift you up, who challenge you to be a better person, who inspire you, who will teach you and show you the way, people who will help you maybe not create that vision for you, but will give you The wherewithal, the ideas, the spark to know that there's more out there, that you can go create that person. People who will enhance your life or that you can go create that life. People who will enhance who you are and your experience in life. And when I'm talking about experiences, bringing in, doing more, having more of the experiences that will create that vision, I'm talking about things you do every day. Maybe it's going out to get a great meal, trying something different, something that will open up another world to you, another palette. Maybe it's doing something creative that gets your, your juices flowing, that makes you happy, that teaches you another skill, that opens up another piece of your life, another facet of your life. Maybe it's doing work that you love, and it could be paid work, it could be volunteer work. But the things that are going to make you excited and look forward to the day, look forward to the things that you're doing, not just humdrum. So when I'm talking about creating those experiences, part of it is gonna be that you spent time on that vision. You know what you wanna feel like. You know that you wanna put on that outfit that makes you feel a little bit sexy, a little bit fun, a little bit flirty, and you wanna go to a girls' night dinner with your friends, or you wanna go out on that date, and you wanna try a new restaurant that has some fun and exciting flavors, and that's all the buzz. Or it could be that you want to put on your new comfy, cozy, loungewear and make a beautiful meal just for you or for your family. You have spent time thinking about what you really want. And remember, that vision was very detailed, step-by-step pictures of what's in and what's not and what has to happen. So you know when you're thinking about, "Well, what do I want for dinner tonight?" Or, "What do I wanna do this weekend? I wanna go out and try something new. I wanna go out and be active and hike and do some things. That's what I wanna do this weekend. I wanna do something different." And the next one I want you to think about maybe a little bit differently are the things that will create that vision. And I am less and less into stuff, just having stuff, just getting stuff, and more about how the stuff around me makes me feel, how it adds to my life. It, does it make me comfortable? Is it something beautiful to look at? Do the candles in my home add to the ambiance, the vibe, if you will, of what I'm trying to create? How do I feel when I light those candles, put on some soft music, and get out my journal to plan my next week, or just get out the thoughts for the day, or plan my day when I am journaling in the morning? Is it what I want? Is the lamp on my bedside, does it have the right light bulb in it, a soft light that I can turn on in the morning and journal first thing in the morning, not a harsh light that's gonna make me cringe? It's the little things like that that will create that vision. And you may think that sounds nitpicky or like a lot of trouble, but you are curating your dream life. You're building it piece by piece. So it's the little things that will build that vision piece by piece that will create that big picture. So what I want to encourage you to do is from time to time, revisit that vision. Look at it again. Think about how you feel. Look around at your space, or consider the last experience you had or the people that you've been hanging out with, and ask yourself, "Am I creating that vision? Is this happening?" And again, it's a process. It's not gonna be a wipe the slate clean and then bring in all new stuff. Hopefully, you're starting in a place that's good, and you're making it better. You're building on it. You're curating that vision. So you look around and you ask yourself, "Okay, how am I doing on this vision? Are there things that need to go, that I need to stop doing, that I need to eliminate? What are they? When can I do that? Is it something right away? Is it something that I need to dial back on? What do I need to do to fill my soul? Like, do I need to take a dance class? Do I need to take voice lessons? Do I just need to go out and volunteer and help somebody else? What will make me feel good on a Saturday morning instead of laying around watching reruns of The Golden Girls?" Although you know I love The Golden Girls, so that actually is one of the things that would make me feel good. But what is going to really enhance my life or my day so when I look back on it, I rate it as a 10 out of 10 or a eight out of 10, and know that I can get to the nine, to the 10, that I can get better every day? That is the curate your life process. It's not a complete overhaul. It's not hating everything in your life and trying to create a new one. It's getting better, 10% better, 5% better every day, taking out the junk, making space for what you love, and b- really being patient and okay with Finding, building, creating the things that you love, not just settling for something that will fill the gap in the meantime. That's Curate Your Life process. I would love to hear how you feel about this process, what you think about it, what questions you have about it, how you're starting to implement the curating process in your life, how you are creating your vision. So feel free to come over to Instagram and send me a message or leave me a comment on the post about this, um, podcast. Or if you want, there will be a link in the show notes to schedule a quick conversation with me, a 15-minute conversation about this process and how it fits into your life. Until next time