112. CYL Process - Deep Dive Pt 2

In episode 112 of the Curate Your Life podcast, Temetria focuses on step two of the 'Curate Your Life' process: subtracting or eliminating what does not fit your vision. Using relatable analogies, she emphasizes the importance of identifying and removing people, experiences, and items that don't align with the vision you have for your life. Temetria also discusses the challenges of making tough decisions and offers practical advice on minimizing interactions that don't contribute to your vision. Finally, she encourages listeners to evaluate their motivations and provides inspiration for living a life true to oneself.

00:00 Introduction to the Curate Your Life Podcast
00:40 Recap and Introduction to Step Two
01:15 Identifying What Doesn't Fit Your Vision
03:26 Making Tough Choices for Your Vision
05:24 Practical Examples of Subtraction
09:51 Embracing Change and Joy
11:01 Conclusion and Next Steps

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Transcript

0:00

You're listening to the Curate Your Life podcast with Temetria episode 112.

Temetria: 0:09

Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife. But not quite ready for the Moomoo life. I'm focused on curating a life that I love. A life that is bold and vibrant and full of purpose. And I'm passionate about helping other women do the same. So join me. If you're ready to create curate a big, bold, beautiful life that you love.

0:38

Welcome back to the podcast. This is episode two of The Deep Dive Into the Curate Your Life Process. So if you haven't listened to part one yet, I encourage you to go back and do so, so that you get an understanding of the process and the steps in order, because I'm just gonna dive in here. I'm gonna go straight in. So last week I talked about step one, the vision, and this week we're going to look at step two. And that is subtracting or eliminating or stopping what does not fit the vision. So at this point in the process, you've done the work to get very clear on your vision. It should be very detailed. Um, like a very detailed picture or scene in your mind and really in your body. You should be able to feel it in your bones. When you think about what you want and the life that you want to live, that vision that you created, when you think about it, you should be able to feel it. So knowing what you want, knowing what that picture is means knowing what you don't want, what doesn't fit that vision in your head? What sticks out like a sore thumb. So I want you to think back to the lessons that we had in kindergarten when you had pictures of four different things and you had to circle the one that didn't belong in the set. So for example, think of like an orange, an apple. A dish towel and a banana. The dish towel is not going to go in your fruit basket or think of it as having a very modern chic home with a sofa that has very clean straight lines, a flat screen TV that disappears into the credenza when you're not using it. A chic coffee table. With lace doilies, the doilies are gonna look outta place in that space. And there's nothing wrong with the dish towel. They obviously come in very handy and you need them, and there is a space for doilies. For someone who wants a cozy country, comfy home. That may be the space for doilies. For someone who wants a chic, elegant, minimalist home, that's not the space. So step two is about identifying and removing the things that don't fit the vision. You really wanna think about it like this. You wanna make a list of the people, the experiences, the things that you need to subtract or let go of, or eliminate or stop doing to create that vision. So let's talk about this.'cause it can be tough when you have someone you love give you something for your home that they expect to see the next time that they visit and it doesn't fit your home or your decor, or it's just something that you don't like and you feel like you have to keep it in the closet and remember to bring it out when they're around. So imagine if curating. Your life and creating your vision means not having someone in your life. Imagine that, not just the stuff that they gave you, maybe not having them in your life. If you have this vision for your life and in that vision that you've created, you realize that the perfectly nice guy that you're dating does not fit that picture. It may be tough to stop dating him. But if you are absolutely certain about your vision and your why, and you know that that person does not fit, then you have to take the steps to remove that person from the picture. And it sounds bad, but you need to make room for the person who's gonna fit that dream. And you could be thinking, but what if they don't come? And I mean it's a possibility, but what if you settle and you're with Mr. Mediocre? And when I say mediocre, I mean for your vision. I'm not talking about the person being mediocre, I'm talking about him being mediocre for your vision. He may be Mr. Wonderful for somebody else, but what if you're settling and you're with him and your Mr. Wright comes along and there's no space for him. So you have to be willing to. Make the changes to create the vision. And yes, there are compromises and it takes work to make relationships work. But if you're with someone who checks two of the 20 boxes on your list, you're not compromising your settling. And this is about creating your dream life. And I'll go back to the analogy that I had from last week about the museum that's featuring a collection until, let's say it's a collection of Renaissance pieces that this museum has so imagine that they have some great pieces in their collection, but the Mona Lisa becomes available. They're gonna make room for the Mona Lisa. They don't have to make a lot of room, obviously,'cause it's not very big. But they're going to probably move things around, take pieces out the take pieces out of the collection to be able to put her front and center and put a spotlight on her because that's widely known as one of the great pieces by one of the great Renaissance artists. So they're gonna put her front and center. Your life. The one you created in that vision has limited wall space. Not everything is going to fit, and you're gonna have to decide whether to go with a nice to have or to make room for and allow only the pièce de résistance And this is not just about dating. It can be about that job where you spend 50 to 60 hours a week. Creating the life that you love could mean cutting down to 40 hours. It could mean finding something different, it can mean pursuing a position that you've been dreaming of. No matter how comfortable you are in that job, it can mean stepping down to a lower position so you have time for joy and you eliminate stress in your life. Eliminating things that don't fit. The vision can be as simple as, I have a vision of being someone who prioritizes my health and longevity, and that means reducing processed foods. And remember, this is a process, so it can mean reducing processed foods for now and maybe eliminating them altogether long term. It can mean they're not in your house. And maybe you only have them when you're out or on special occasions, so you are taking the steps to create the vision. So you are thinking about the vision and what doesn't fit. So just like you looked at that workbook in kindergarten, you're circling or mentally noting what doesn't go with the rest of the picture. And then you have to figure out how to reduce, eliminate, or stop it. I'll give you another example. What if you want a peaceful, calm life and your friend is a drama queen, she is miss, there's always something. Reduce the amount of time that you spend with her. And you may think, well, that's mean, or that's not being a true friend. But think about it. If you come away from every interaction, feeling like you need to lay down or be saved, are you being true to yourself and your vision? You can choose to limit the interactions. If you feel like you can't totally stop. Or if you don't want to totally stop seeing this person, limit the interactions, limit your exposure. Take care of yourself. And if you look at the list of people, things, experiences that you need to subtract or let go of or eliminate. And you don't feel like you can do it, ask yourself why. Ask yourself if you're willing to alter your vision and why you're willing to alter your vision. Are you making room for grandma's hand knitted throw because it's super special to you or because you wanna keep peace with your mama? And if it's keeping peace, are you okay with that? Are you okay with it? Because it results in easier visits. You have to decide. That's why the first step of being very clear and knowing what you want and why is so important, because making the changes, subtracting things, adding things to get to that picture, to that vision is going to mean making some tough choices and doing some hard things. Because if they were easy, you would've already acted on them. You would've already done it. If you want to be the graceful mermaid swimming in the pool, you have to let go of the side of the pool. Something's gotta give. Something has to change. Think of this first step as making room for what you love. Not everything is going to fit in your vision, and that's okay. It's not meant to lean into the things that create joy, that create real joy. Your joy. And I will say this one last thing. When you are absolutely clear and certain about what you want and why, eliminating what doesn't fit. Is not scary. It's freeing. So if it feels scary, maybe you need to spend some more time on the vision. Is it really your vision? Is it really your why? The benefits to other people will come as a byproduct. If you are true to yourself. If you are living your truth and your best life, you are a gift to someone else. Okay, I'm gonna leave you with that next week. We're gonna continue with step three of curating your life of creating that vision. Until next time, If you're ready to put the focus back on you and be the star of your show, again, I invite you to join the Bend Your Life Challenge, where you'll spend five days focused on something meaningful to your life. You pick the goal or the thing that you wanna focus on, and I guide you through the challenge. And when I say challenge, I mean opportunity. Opportunity to put on blinders and focus on what's important and meaningful to you and creating that in your life. Join me for the next Venture Life challenge. It'll be better than anything you can stream. You can find the link to join in the show notes.