106. Take Your Life Off Autopilot

In this episode of the 'Curate Your Life' podcast, Temetria discusses the concept of living life on autopilot, likening it to the autopilot systems used in airplanes. She highlights the efficiency and routine benefits of autopilot but emphasizes the importance of engaging and being intentional in life. Temetria shares personal stories and common scenarios where people may be on autopilot, such as eating habits, social routines, and careers. She encourages listeners to actively participate in their lives and offers actionable advice on how to do so. To help with this transition, she introduces the 'Binge Your Life Challenge', a five-day event aimed at helping individuals take control of their lives and live more intentionally.

00:00 Introduction to Curate Your Life Podcast
00:39 Understanding Autopilot in Life
04:40 The Downside of Autopilot
06:10 Personal Story: Breaking Free from Autopilot
10:19 Identifying Autopilot in Daily Habits
17:15 Invitation to the Binge Your Life Challenge

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Transcript

0:01

You are listening to the Curate Your Life podcast with Temetria episode 1 0 6. Take your life off autopilot.

Temetria: 0:12

Hi, I'm Temetria a single woman in midlife. But not quite ready for the Moomoo life. I'm focused on curating a life that I love. A life that is bold and vibrant and full of purpose. And I'm passionate about helping other women do the same. So join me. If you're ready to create curate a big, bold, beautiful life that you love.

0:39

I know we have all done this. You have been driving someplace that you've been a million times before, and when you get there, you have that thought or that flash of, how did I even get here? I don't remember. Taking those turns, taking that exit driving here, but I'm here somewhere in the recess of your mind, you know? But that could have been any of the days before, any of the times before that you've been to that place. But you get there and you get there safely, but you're not aware of all of the steps that it took to get there. You were on autopilot, you were driving and you were directing the car, but it was such a habit, so ingrained in you that while you were doing that, you were thinking about other things. You may have been thinking about how that project is going at work, or you may have been analyzing and reviewing and thinking about how that first date went last night. But you were still driving. You were on autopilot, and it's something that we've all done before an autopilot can be a great thing. Thinking about why it was developed, when it was developed for pilots, it was a tool to help them keep on track, to help them keep the plane on track. And I don't know anything about the actual science or the actual engineering that went into it, but I imagine in the early days of autopilot, it was like locking things in place to keep the plane on track. I imagine that it locked the coordinates into place and that it locked the wheel, the steering wheel into place. And that the radar was focused on a certain spot. And again, I don't know that this is how autopilot works per se, but that's what I imagine that it was like in the early days. And I assume that it has become more sophisticated with all of the technology that we have and that now, yes, it is still trained in and locked on the destination, but now it can read and analyze the data. The radar is looking for other planes in the area and weather that's in the area, and then either. Making the adjustments if it's set for that, if it's within a certain degree of what it was set for, or alerting the pilot to the hazard or making the pilot aware. But the main purpose of autopilot was so the pilot didn't have to be so engaged and focused on what was happening or just in charge of every single thing that was happening. Those coordinates were locked in, where the plane was going was locked in, so then maybe she could focus on something else. Like the takeoff and the landing where you need to be like laser focused on that and not saying that you don't have to be focused. I know flight is a huge thing with so many moving parts, to get you there, but that autopilot served a. Purpose for the pilot, so then she could be focused in doing something else and not having to put that mental energy and capacity into all of it 100% for the entire flight. Think about those really long flights overseas, and even though they have several people in the cockpit, autopilot gives them some relief, some help, some tools to carry out the mission to get the flight done right? And autopilot can be a great thing even at times in your life. Being on autopilot can work.'cause that speaks to efficiency and routines that are working and habits that are working. So it can be a good thing. But I wanna talk about when being on autopilot does not serve you. Just think about the fact that I said autopilot allows the pilot of the plane to be not as engaged, right? Maybe to dial it down for a little bit, not have to pay as much attention while she's flying the plane. Not have to be laser focused on every detail because autopilot is handling that. And while it may be fine for you to be on autopilot to a certain degree on your commute to that you make every day or going to the grocery store that you've been to a hundred times, you want to be engaged in your life. You don't want to be on autopilot going through the motions and missing what life has to offer 90% of the time or even 75% of the time. Don't you want to be actively engaged in and participating in and having say in the direction that your life is going? That is what taking your life off autopilot looks like. It looks like being focused and engaged and intentional about the day to day activities of your life. It looks like doing things on purpose and with purpose. So let's think about some times when you may not have been on autopilot. And I wanna tell you a story that I have told before about when I was on autopilot and what that looked like, how that played out for me. And again, I know I've told this story before, I used to have a pretty good commute when I lived in my old house. It started out about 30 minutes, but eventually as people moved into town, it could be up to 45 minutes each way. So there were plenty of times when I was just, like I said, driving, going through the motions of getting from work to home, and I would get home and I was like, huh. I'm here and I don't, did not remember all the stops and the turns and all the exits and things like that, but I did it. But also when I walked into the house, I was on autopilot. I would pull into my garage, let the door down, and my garage door, opened it to the kitchen, and I would put my purse on the island and I would either go to the pantry or the refrigerator and I would. For a few minutes numb out on like chips and hummus or chips or popcorn or something like that. Just I would just kind of mindlessly stand at the island eating something. It was not carrots for sure, that was what I did on autopilot to kind of unwind to make that transition from work and commute to being at home and now what was coming next, whatever was coming next. And so I would stand there at the island, shove something in my face for a few minutes, probably thinking I was hungry, but really just needing that space that break. That transition in my day. And so I would stand there at the island, have my snack, my quote unquote afterschool snack, if you will, and then I'd grab a glass of wine and I'd go upstairs and change into my lounge clothes, and then sit down and turn on the TV and then maybe make dinner. That was the routine. That was the autopilot, and what I realized. At some point when I started getting into coaching and thinking about the why behind my actions and the feelings behind my actions, what I was feeling, what I was trying to feel or not feel, what was really going on when I was standing at the island, eating chips and hummus and having wine, what was really going on? And I realized that was a time when I was. Decompressing transitioning from work to home, and it really didn't have anything to do with the hummus and wine or the chips and wine or what I was eating. It was just that time to decompress, to breathe, to kind of have that sigh. But I was filling that space with the food and the wine, so what I had to do was really become intentional about not stopping right there, putting my purse on the island and I mean, y'all, I would walk in, if you're on YouTube, like I would walk in the door and the pantry was right next to the door, so I, that door would close and I just. Kind of make a U-turn right into the pantry, and the fridge was right next to that. So it could not have been more convenient, but I had to stop myself and say, that's not what I need. That's not what I really want. What I really want is to sit down for a minute, let go of the workday, let go of whatever traffic was like, and just breathe. Just take a pause. And then go on about my day. So I had to get that pattern interrupt. I had to turn off autopilot and be in charge of what was happening in my life at that time. So I want you to think about where in your life are you on autopilot, and here are some areas, some common areas that come up with clients that I've been through before. So these are areas where you might be on autopilot in your life. How to start to notice that, and then how to switch off autopilot if it's not serving you, if it's not serving a purpose in your life. So around eating, let's. Since that was the example that I gave you for me, let's talk about it. Let's talk about around eating. Do you eat breakfast, lunch, and or dinner at the same time every day? Whether you're hungry or not, that could be autopilot because if you don't know your hunger cues, you're real hunger cues and you're just eating because that's when you. Normally eat, you may think you're hungry, you may feel hungry because that's what your body is used to and that's the signal that you're getting. But it may not be real physical hunger, so ask yourself, am I physically hungry for this, or is it just time to eat lunch? That could be. The pattern interrupt, that could be the pause that you need to start to turn off autopilot. Think about that glass of wine that you have at night after a long day. Is it an automatic answer to the long day? Why are you having the glass of wine? Stop to ask yourself, what is this about? Why do I want this glass of wine? And if it's because I had a long day, what made it a long day? And how is this wine going to fix it? Or how are the cookies going to fix it? Or the ice cream or binging on that series that I'm not really watching, that I'm not really interested in, but it allows me to sit here and decompress. What can I do instead of having the wine, having the cookies sitting on the couch? What would move me towards a life that I love? Maybe it's that Friday happy hour with the same group of people. With the same group of friends. Where you can predict exactly how the conversation is going to go, and you sometimes wonder, why am I even here? This is the same thing. I've heard this before. What am I getting out of this? That's when you know it's autopilot. You're in that routine that's not serving your life. What if you made room, if you didn't go to that happy hour, if you skipped it one week and said. Hey, I'm not gonna go and you made room for new people and new experiences in your life. Or you went with a different group, or you, you solo went to a different place by yourself, or you did something different. You interrupt, you turn off autopilot, and you are purposeful with a purpose, meeting new people, doing something different, enriching your life with what you're doing. What about hitting the snooze button three times every morning before rolling out of bed, irritated and late for your day? What if you got up when your alarm went off and set your intentions for the day? Did some planning around creating the day that you want to live or what if you set the alarm for the actual time that you get up and you're honest with yourself and you get 15 to 20 more minutes of quality rest, quality sleep? What if you just interrupt that pattern of doing the same thing every day? You can also be on autopilot in a career or in a relationship staying because it's what you know and what you're comfortable with. When you know that the trajectory of that plane, that career, that relationship is not going to take you where you want to go, and you might be thinking at this age. In midlife, it's, this is easy. It's easy to stay here, and it is, but it's easy. What you want is easy. Is easy, what you're truly gonna be happy with, or is it just the uncomfort, the discomfort, the eh, that you know that you're okay with, but it's not the joy that is possible, or you might not think that. You can, or you may think that it's too late, you won't know unless you try. And what is the harm in trying in interrupting that pattern and going for it, and just seeing what is possible for you. Because if you put your focus on it, if you put your mind to it, you can. It's not too late until it's too late until you're outta here. That's when it's too late. So just thinking about the plane on autopilot, you can leave it on autopilot and let it be on that trajectory to that. Okay. Place and you can. Live there forever, or you can take it off autopilot and point it in the direction of that life that is amazing that you create and that you live and that lights you up. And you could be at the okay, place for another 5, 10, 15 years and be fine. Or you can be at the amazing place for another 5, 10, 15 years, whatever time you have left and live an amazing, wonderful life. And when I'm saying amazing, wonderful life, you get to decide what that is. You put the definition on amazing, wonderful life for you. And then you go do it? I'm not giving you a definition of what amazing and wonderful is.'cause it could be two, probably is two totally different things. But think about what is amazing and wonderful. What would, what would that be for you? And how can you get it? Because it's out there and it is possible. And that's what I want you to understand and really to go for. And so examine the excuses and the fears and the thoughts that are keeping you on autopilot and decide if you are okay with that. If you wanna stay there, or if you wanna take the will of your life and see where that leads you, and if autopilot is not getting you where you want to go, I have something amazing for you that I'm doing for the rest of 2025. So starting on September 1st, Monday, September 1st, I'm going to run a five day binge Your Life Challenge. During that challenge, during those five days, I'm going to guide you through being focused on. Intentionally living and creating something in your life, being focused on one thing that you are working towards that you want to do in that five days. It doesn't have to be anything huge. It can be whatever you want. The first couple of days, we're gonna shift your mindset and get it right and then there's gonna be actually. Taking action and doing the things and just turning off autopilot and living your life, doing something. And so this binge your life name, idea came up because I had been spending some time on the sofa in front of the TV binging things on the streaming channels, and I thought to myself, this is not. What I wanna be doing, this is not getting me where I want to be. Watching fictional characters live, fictional lives on tv. I want to be living, creating, doing in my life. And normally I do a pretty good job. I had a short run there when I was coming home, plopping on the sofa, watching tv, but I stopped that so. Starting September 1st and every other week through the end of 2025, I'm running this five day challenge. You sign up, you can go to the show notes and sign up for the Binge Your Life Challenge. It's free. You can go through as many times as you want and see what you can do, what you can create, where you can go between now and the end of the year. You can do it one time just to get something done, just to get something started for yourself, or you can come back, you can bring a friend if you wanna bring a friend, but starting September 1st. Every other week I'll be running a five day challenge. I'll be in your inbox every morning for five days with a prompt with some information to help you get through this challenge. And I will also have a Facebook group, the Binge Life Facebook group, where you can come in and ask your questions and get some coaching and get help and celebrate your wins as you're going along in this challenge. So I hope you will come and join me and engage in your life and take control of your life during one or all of these five day challenges that will be starting. On September 1st. So it'd be great if you can come for that first one. If you can't, you can join us at any time. So come join me for the Binge Your Life Challenge. And I'm going, when I say join me, I mean come join me because I am going to be doing these five day challenges myself. I'm gonna be doing every one of them. Every other week. I'm going to start another five day challenge. I have a couple of things in mind, but I don't have them all lined up. So when I say, come join me for this challenge, I do mean come join me for this challenge for the binge Your Life Challenge. And again, you can sign up using the link in the show notes. Until next time.