93. Self-Accountability

In this episode of the Curate Your Life podcast, host Temetria delves into the pivotal role of self-accountability in crafting the life you desire. She defines accountability and elaborates on a recent insightful talk. Temetria outlines a three-step process to curate an ideal life: clarifying your vision, eliminating misaligned elements, and integrating what fits your goals. She discusses why people often hinder their own progress and stresses the importance of aligning desires with genuine motivations and self-belief. Highlighting self-accountability as a profound form of self-love, she encourages listeners to treat themselves with care and persistence, equating self-check-ins to acts of internal kindness and motivation.

00:00 Welcome to Curate Your Life Podcast
00:17 Reflecting on Last Week's Episode
01:05 The Importance of Self-Accountability
02:05 Curating Your Life Process
03:50 Holding Yourself Accountable
04:52 Self-Compassion in Accountability
05:28 Understanding Internal Conflict
06:36 Identifying True Desires
07:34 The Power of Journaling
08:39 Overcoming Self-Doubt
09:29 Self-Accountability as Self-Love
10:58 Building Your Internal Belief Team
11:43 Support and Consultation

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome to the curate your life podcast with Dimitria where we focus on curating the life you've been dreaming of. One goal at a time so that you can make the rest of your life, the best of your life. Hi. Y'all okay. So couple of things. Last week. I. Posted a live as this podcast. And I did a quick intro talking about the live and then I edited spliced. I was going to say, I don't know if that's the right word. I put the live in there and then I. Posted it. And I realized that in my haste wasn't really hazed, but I was guess I was working on the tech part of it. And I didn't put in our little intro music and I liked the song that I have. For the intro, it's kind of upbeat and a little bit jazzy. And so I missed that and I realized that, but it's out there now with just, just me, no intro music or anything like that, but it's fantastic. And we're just going to leave it as it is. So today we are going to be talking about the very sexy topic of accountability, self accountability. And I'll tell you why we're talking about this in a minute, but the definition of accountability is. Well, I looked it up online and it's a state of being accountable. It says, thank you for that. But it says, especially an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility. Or. To account for one's actions. Okay. So that's the definition. And this came up because I recently did a talk on curating your life. And the question came up about how to hold yourself accountable. And I've been doing some more thinking about that and why that question would come up when. What I was talking about was creating a life that. You want a life that you love? And if you've heard me talking about the curating your life process, you know, that that process is three steps. It's getting very clear on what you want your life to look like, what you desire to have in your life. Who you want to be, what you want to do, getting very clear on your dream life. And then once you have that picture, You start to curate it. You start to do the things to curate that picture, right? You take away the things that don't fit that picture, you stopped doing the things that don't fit, the picture you get rid of the physical things that don't fit the picture. So if, for example, you're curating your space, your home environment, and you look around and there are things that don't fit the vision that you have. In your head for that environment. You start to get rid of those things. And. That will help you create the picture. If they're not part of the picture, it shouldn't be in there. And then, so the next step is to. Decide what you need to bring in what. If we're talking about your home, what you need to bring in to create that vision, to round it out. If we're talking about your life, it's what you need to stop doing and what you need to start doing. It's the things that you need to learn, the experiences that you need to have or not have anymore. So that's the curating your life process, right? Getting very clear on the picture, taken out what didn't fit and bringing in what fits. So the question came up after I did that. Presentation, how do we hold ourselves accountable? And one of the things that I said was you'll have to have your own back. And you'll check in with yourself. And if you're not doing the things that you committed to doing, ask yourself why, and then decide what you need to do to get back on track. And in that process, you don't want to beat yourself up. You want to give yourself some grace. And I've been thinking about it more since then. If you're holding yourself accountable. You would do the same thing that you would do if a friend asked you to hold them accountable? You check in with them regularly, you would ask them about their progress. And I imagine if they were doing all the things that they needed to be doing and making good progress. You would congratulate them and celebrate them. And if they weren't, you would ask them why and what they needed to do next, what would their next steps be? What would they do differently or what they may be need help with? I doubt you would be raped them or say, oh, I knew you couldn't do it. Or I knew you'd give up. But I think when it comes to self accountability, we imagined that that will happen. We'll beat ourselves up. If there's a mistake or a misstep. And people talk about this a couple of ways when they're talking about self accountability. I here, I let myself off the hook or I get in my own way. And when I really break it down and think about letting ourselves off the hook. I imagine fishing and fighting to reel in a fish and it escaping or getting off the hook. So it's not caught. Right. So when you use that statement, I let myself off the hook. That implies to me. That you're doing something that you didn't really want to do, that there's some kind of internal battle between what you say you want and what you really want. Because I think if you're creating a life that you really want. That really resonates with you. And you have a very clear picture of it. If you've really tapped into what it feels like when you are in that place or you have that life and why you want it. Then you would want to do the things to create that life. And even if those things required some effort, mental or physical effort, that effort would be worth it because you're working towards something that you want. The same concept, applies to getting in your own way. If you truly wanted something, something that you thought would change your life or make it better or easier, why would you stop yourself from having it? So I, like I said, I thought about this more since the question came up and I think that a couple of the possibilities, as to why we let ourselves off the hook or get in our way. Include one. Maybe it's not what you really want. Maybe it's something that we think we should want, or we should be doing. So a question to ask yourself in that case is, do I really want this? And I think if you just get quiet. And you really just let the answers come without judgment, without editing, without reservations, without letting them the voices from the outside world, you can get to that place of. Whether it is something that you really, really want or not. And I'm going to give you some follow up questions in a minute, but one of the things. That I suggest that I suggest a lot is journal. Just like yourself, sit down and write. I say, let your mind go and your pin flow just right. And see what comes up. Without judgment and without editing, just let it flow. I think when you do that, you write what you want and you really just get it out. Then you follow up with the questions of why. Why do I want this? Why will I keep going? When what I want is not easily attainable. Why will I put in the effort? Why am I willing to delay the instant gratification of what's easy now versus what I say I want, why am I willing to try again if the first attempt and the second attempt and the third attempts don't work. When you can answer those questions, honestly, and you feel good about the answers that come up. And they lead you back to that thing that you want. Then you won't let yourself off the hook or get in your own way. And then the second reason that I think you come up against. Letting yourself off the hook or getting in your own way. It's because you don't believe that you can do or have the thing that you want. Maybe you don't believe you're capable of developing this skill or the knowledge that it takes. To do the thing. Maybe you don't believe that you are deserving of the thing. So those are the things that you have to address to not let yourself off the hook or get in the way you have to be willing to develop the skill or knowledge to get to the point of doing or having the thing that you want. Or you have to figure out. Why you don't believe you deserve it? And then do the work to change that belief. So that is how you hold yourself accountable for creating the thing, the life. You want, you have to have a willingness to accept the responsibility of answering those questions for yourself, and then you have to account for your actions. So that'll look and sound like this. If I have answered those questions truthfully, and I really want the thing that I say I want are my actions getting me there. If so keep doing them, keep checking in to make sure you're on the right path. If not ask why not, what needs to change and make those adjustments. Then the most important piece of the puzzle. Is do it with the love that you would show your best friend, your child, your significant other. Or somebody that you truly care about? Self accountability is a form of self-love. It truly is because. You're doing the things you're holding yourself accountable for having. The life that you say you want, that you have done the work to figure out that you truly want for yourself. So that is self-accountability, which I think is a form of self-love. So I came up with the concept of having an internal belief team. And that is being your own best friend, being the friend to yourself that you would be to somebody else being your biggest cheerleader rooting for yourself the way that you would root for your favorite team or your favorite athlete. And being your faithful accountability partner, being the person who's always there. Who's going to gently push you and challenge you to take the next step. So be your own internal belief team. And if you can't get there, if you need help with that. I am here for you. I will believe in you until you get to the place where you believe in yourself. That is what I do for a lot of my clients. I hold belief until they can get there. So if you need help with that, please feel free to schedule a consultation. The link is in the show notes. Until next time.